Anxiety Attacks & Anxiety Disorders

Signs, Symptoms, and Finding Treatment that Works for You

It’s normal to feel anxious when facing a challenging situation, such as a job interview, a tough exam, a blind date, or a confrontation with a friend. But if your worries and fears seem overwhelming and interfere with your daily life, you may be suffering from an anxiety disorder. There are many different types of anxiety disorders—and many effective treatments. Read on to learn how to reduce your anxiety symptoms and take back control of your life.

Understanding anxiety disorders

It’s normal to worry and feel tense or scared when under pressure or facing a stressful situation. Anxiety is the body’s natural response to danger, an automatic alarm that goes off when you feel threatened.

In moderation, anxiety isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, anxiety can help you stay alert and focused, spur you to action, and motivate you to solve problems. But when anxiety is constant or overwhelming, when it interferes with your relationships and activities, it stops being functional—that’s when you’ve crossed the line from normal, productive anxiety into the territory of anxiety disorders.

Do your symptoms indicate an anxiety disorder?

If you identify with several of the following signs and symptoms, and they just won’t go away, you may be suffering from an anxiety disorder.

• Are you constantly tense, worried, or on edge?
• Does your anxiety interfere with your work, school, or family responsibilities?
• Are you plagued by fears that you know are irrational, but can’t shake?
• Do you believe that something bad will happen if certain things aren’t done a certain way?
• Do you avoid everyday situations or activities because they cause you anxiety?
• Do you experience sudden, unexpected attacks of heart-pounding panic?
• Do you feel like danger and catastrophe are around every corner?

Signs and symptoms of anxiety disorders

Because anxiety disorders are a group of related conditions rather than a single disorder, they can look very different from person to person. One individual may suffer from intense anxiety attacks that strike without warning, while another gets panicky at the thought of mingling at a party. Someone else may struggle with a disabling fear of driving, or uncontrollable, intrusive thoughts. Yet another may live in a constant state of tension, worrying about anything and everything.

Despite their different forms, all anxiety disorders share one major symptom: persistent or severe fear or worry in situations where most people wouldn’t feel threatened.

Emotional symptoms of anxiety

In addition to the primary symptoms of irrational and excessive fear and worry, other common emotional symptoms of anxiety include:

Feelings of apprehension or dread Trouble concentrating Feeling tense and jumpy Anticipating the worst

Irritability Restlessness Watching for signs of danger Feeling like your mind’s gone blank

Physical symptoms of anxiety

Anxiety is more than just a feeling. As a product of the body’s fight-or-flight response, anxiety involves a wide range of physical symptoms. Because of the numerous physical symptoms, anxiety sufferers often mistake their disorder for a medical illness. They may visit many doctors and make numerous trips to the hospital before their anxiety disorder is discovered.

Common physical symptoms of anxiety include:

Pounding heart Sweating Stomach upset or dizziness Frequent urination or diarrhea Shortness of breath

Tremors and twitches Muscle tension Headaches Fatigue Insomnia

The link between anxiety symptoms and depression

Many people with anxiety disorders also suffer from depression at some point. Anxiety and depression are believed to stem from the same biological vulnerability, which may explain why they so often go hand-in-hand. Since depression makes anxiety worse (and vice versa), it’s important to seek treatment for both conditions.

Anxiety attacks and their symptoms

Treatment for anxiety attacks

In most cases, anxiety attacks respond quickly to treatment. Even if you're starting to avoid certain situations or places because you're afraid of having a panic attack, treatment can often rapidly and effectively help you regain control.

Anxiety attacks, also known as panic attacks, are episodes of intense panic or fear. Anxiety attacks usually occur suddenly and without warning. Sometimes there’s an obvious trigger— getting stuck in an elevator, for example, or thinking about the big speech you have to give—but in other cases, the attacks come out of the blue.

Anxiety attacks usually peak within ten minutes, and they rarely last more than thirty minutes. But during that short time, the terror can be so severe that you feel as if you’re about to die or totally lose control. The physical symptoms of anxiety attacks are themselves so frightening that many people believe they’re having a heart attack. After an anxiety attack is over, you may be worried about having another one, particularly in a public place where help isn’t available or you can’t easily escape.

Symptoms of anxiety attacks include:

Surge of overwhelming panic Feeling of losing control or going crazy Heart palpitations or chest pain Feeling like you’re going to pass out Trouble breathing or choking sensation

Hyperventilation Hot flashes or chills Trembling or shaking Nausea or stomach cramps Feeling detached or unreal

Types of anxiety disorders

There are six major types of anxiety disorders, each with their own distinct symptom profile: generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, panic disorder (anxiety attacks), phobia, post-traumatic stress disorder, and social anxiety disorder. Helpguide.org offers an entire article on each type of anxiety disorder. See related articles section below for more information.

Generalized anxiety disorder

If constant worries and fears distract you from your day-to-day activities or you’re troubled by a persistent feeling that something bad is going to happen, you may be suffering from generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). People with GAD are chronic worrywarts who feel anxious nearly all of the time, though they may not even know why. Anxiety related to GAD often shows up as physical symptoms like insomnia, stomach upset, restlessness, and fatigue.

Anxiety attacks (Panic disorder)

Panic disorder is characterized by repeated, unexpected panic attacks, as well as fear of experiencing another episode. Panic disorder may also be accompanied by agoraphobia, which is a fear of being in places where escape or help would be difficult in the event of a panic attack. If you have agoraphobia, you are likely to avoid public places such as shopping malls or confined spaces such as an airplane.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is characterized by unwanted thoughts or behaviors that seem impossible to stop or control. If you have OCD, you may be troubled by obsessions, such as a recurring worry that you forgot to turn off the oven or that you might hurt someone. You may also suffer from uncontrollable compulsions, such as washing your hands over and over.

Phobia

A phobia is an unrealistic or exaggerated fear of a specific object, activity, or situation that in reality presents little to no danger. Common phobias include fear of animals such as snakes and spiders, fear of flying, and fear of heights. In the case of a severe phobia, you might go to extreme lengths to avoid the thing you fear. Unfortunately, avoidance only strengthens the phobia.

Social anxiety disorder

If you have a debilitating fear of being seen negatively by others and humiliated in public, you may have social anxiety disorder, also known as social phobia. Social anxiety disorder can be thought of as extreme shyness. In severe cases, social situations are avoided altogether. Performance anxiety (better known as stage fright) is the most common type of social phobia.

Post-traumatic stress disorder

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is an extreme anxiety disorder that can occur in the aftermath of a traumatic or life-threatening event. PTSD can be thought of as a panic attack that rarely, if ever, lets up. Symptoms of PTSD include flashbacks or nightmares about what happened, hypervigilance, startling easily, withdrawing from others, and avoiding situations that remind you of the event.

Self-help for anxiety, anxiety attacks, and anxiety disorders

Not everyone who worries a lot has an anxiety disorder. You may be anxious because of an overly demanding schedule, lack of exercise or sleep, pressure at home or work, or even from too much coffee.

The bottom line is that if your lifestyle is unhealthy and stressful, you’re more likely to feel anxious—whether or not you have an anxiety disorder. So if you feel like you worry too much, take some time to evaluate how well you’re caring for yourself.

• Do you make time each day for relaxation and fun?
• Are you getting the emotional support you need?
• Are you taking care of your body?
• Are you overloaded with responsibilities?
• Do you ask for help when you need it?

If your stress levels are through the roof, think about how you can bring your life back into balance. There may be responsibilities you can give up, turn down, or delegate to others. If you’re feeling isolated or unsupported, find someone you trust to confide in. Just talking about your worries can make them seem less frightening.

Self-help for anxiety attacks and anxiety disorders #1: Challenge negative thoughts

• Write down your worries. Keep a pad and pencil on you, or type on a laptop, smartphone, or tablet. When you experience anxiety, write down your worries. Writing down is harder work than simply thinking them, so your negative thoughts are likely to disappear sooner.
• Create an anxiety worry period. Choose one or two 10 minute “worry periods” each day, time you can devote to anxiety. During your worry period, focus only on negative, anxious thoughts without trying to correct them. The rest of the day, however, is to be designated free of anxiety. When anxious thoughts come into your head during the day, write them down and “postpone” them to your worry period.
• Accept uncertainty. Unfortunately, worrying about all the things that could go wrong doesn’t make life any more predictable—it only keeps you from enjoying the good things happening in the present. Learn to accept uncertainty and not require immediate solutions to life’s problems.

Self-help for anxiety attacks and anxiety disorders #2: Take care of yourself

• Practice relaxation techniques. When practiced regularly, relaxation techniques such as mindfulness meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, and deep breathing can reduce anxiety symptoms and increase feelings of relaxation and emotional well-being.
• Adopt healthy eating habits. Start the day right with breakfast, and continue with frequent small meals throughout the day. Going too long without eating leads to low blood sugar, which can make you feel more anxious.
• Reduce alcohol and nicotine. They lead to more anxiety, not less.
• Exercise regularly. Exercise is a natural stress buster and anxiety reliever. To achieve the maximum benefit, aim for at least 30 minutes of aerobic exercise on most days.
• Get enough sleep. A lack of sleep can exacerbate anxious thoughts and feelings, so try to get 7 to 9 hours of quality sleep a night.

When to seek professional help for anxiety disorders

While self-help coping strategies for anxiety can be very effective, if your worries, fears, or anxiety attacks have become so great that they’re causing extreme distress or disrupting your daily routine, it is important to seek professional help.

If you’re experiencing a lot of physical anxiety symptoms, consider getting a medical checkup. Your doctor can check to make sure that your anxiety isn’t caused by a medical condition, such as a thyroid problem, hypoglycemia, or asthma. Since certain drugs and supplements can cause anxiety, your doctor will also want to know about any prescriptions, over-the-counter medications, herbal remedies, and recreational drugs you’re taking.

If your physician rules out a medical cause, the next step is to consult with a therapist who has experience treating anxiety attacks and anxiety disorders. The therapist will work with you to determine the cause and type of your anxiety disorder and devise a course of treatment.

Treatment options for anxiety disorders

Anxiety disorders respond very well to treatment—and often in a relatively short amount of time. The specific treatment approach depends on the type of anxiety disorder and its severity. But in general, most anxiety disorders are treated with behavioral therapy, medication, or some combination of the two. Sometimes complementary or alternative treatments may also be helpful.

Behavioral therapy for anxiety disorders

Cognitive-behavioral therapy and exposure therapy are types of behavioral therapy, meaning they focus on behavior rather than on underlying psychological conflicts or issues from the past. Behavioral therapy for anxiety usually takes between 5 and 20 weekly sessions.

• Cognitive-behavior therapy focuses on thoughts—or cognitions—in addition to behaviors. In anxiety disorder treatment, cognitive-behavioral therapy helps you identify and challenge the negative thinking patterns and irrational beliefs that fuel your anxiety.
• Exposure therapy for anxiety disorder treatment encourages you to confront your fears in a safe, controlled environment. Through repeated exposures to the feared object or situation, either in your imagination or in reality, you gain a greater sense of control. As you face your fear without being harmed, your anxiety gradually diminishes.

Medication for anxiety disorders

Is anxiety medication right for you?

Anxiety medications can be habit forming and cause unwanted side effects, so be sure to research your options. It’s important to weigh the benefits and risks so you can make an informed decision about whether anxiety medication is the right treatment for you.

A variety of medications, including benzodiazepines and antidepressants, are used in the treatment of anxiety disorders. But medication is most effective when combined with behavioral therapy and anxiety self-help strategies. Medication may sometimes be used in the short-term to relieve severe anxiety symptoms so that other forms of therapy can be pursued.

• Related Articles

Anxiety Treatment & Self–Help

How to Stop Worrying – Learn self-help strategies to train your brain to stay calm and help you break the habit of chronic worrying.

Therapy for Anxiety Disorders – Learn about cognitive behavioral therapy, exposure therapy, and other options.

Anxiety Medication – Make informed and personal decisions by learning the facts and weighing the benefits against the risks.

Benefits of Mindfulness – Proven techniques to fight anxiety and improve your emotional well-being and physical health.

Types of Anxiety Disorders

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) – Learn how to break free from this common anxiety disorder that involves chronic worrying, nervousness, and tension.

Panic Attacks and Panic Disorder – Learn about the causes of panic attacks, how to reduce or eliminate the symptoms of panic, and regain control of your life.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) – Learn how to get help for uncontrollable thoughts, irrational urges, or the compulsion to continually repeat the same rituals.

Phobias and Fears – When fears are irrational and disabling, they are called phobias. Learn how to get help and overcome these fears.

Social Anxiety Disorder and Social Phobia – Learn to understand this disorder and be more comfortable in social situations.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) – Caused by a traumatic or terrifying past experience, PTSD symptoms include flashbacks, nightmares, or constant fear.

Free Toolkit Program

The ability to manage sources of stress, both internal and external, is key to reining in and managing anxiety. Whether your anxiety is generalized or defined by specific factors such as panic attacks, phobias, or obsessive-compulsive behaviors, learning to recognize how stress affects you—and what you can do to quickly reduce it—is the first step toward bringing your life into balance. Helpguide's free Bring Your Life Into Balance Emotional Self-Help Toolkit teaches you how to do this

                                                                http://www.freegiftsforyou.in/

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5 NEEDs OF LOVE

There are 5 needs of love which your partner would want from you.

1. Physical Touch
2. Quality Time
3. Service
4. Words of Affirmations
5. Gifts

When you fall in love with your partner you will need at least one of the following needs.

Physical touch: The touch is another name of being caring. The Physical touch means emotionally in love with love with bodies becoming one. The physical love is much more than just physical intercourse. The need of being together physically is an important part of successful relationship.

Quality Time: Man or woman want to spend time in total bliss. The peace one gets in each other arms is the quality what everyone wants. The time of timeliness, the time of fun, the time of emotions, the time of joy, the time of freedom, the time of being spiritual, the time of calmness, the time of being completeness.

Service: The service is the act of giving oneself to the other. This act is unconditional. That's what we call unconditional love where one is there always to give love without asking love. When twp persons become complete in themselves then they make the whole world as themselves by giving everything they have because they started learning that we all are part of infinite universe everyone is same, so they share feeling that they are doing for themselves not for the another person because then the other person is self. we become one. Service is the best way to reach Salvation.

Words of Affirmations: The very important need of ego-self is the need of other person for to make them motivated so that they can achieve what they wanted. They lack this thing of self motivation and they want this thing from another person and such people reach great heights in career when they have partner who keep them motivates. Such people read, watch motivational books and have blind faith that they will achieve anything in universe when they are cared for and motivated.

Gifts: People want love in form of materialistic things. People expect their partners to give them gifts. Such people also give a lot of gifts. These people live on body level and have varying mood level because a gift can win their hearts. Because they feel special when someone gives them a gifts.

Thank You Thank You Thank You.

                                                              http://www.freegiftsforyou.in/

How to Find a Friend & Build Friendships

Tips on How to Meet People and Be a Good Friend

Good friendships improve all aspects of your life, providing comfort and joy, strengthening your health, providing companionship, and preventing loneliness and isolation. As we age, many of us struggle to make new friends or maintain old friendships. Work, family, and other commitments can all get in the way. While making and keeping friends requires effort, it's an investment that will make your life richer and more pleasurable. Whatever your age or circumstances, it's never too late to make new friends or reconnect with old ones.

What is a friend?

You know a friend when you have one, but sometimes he or she is hard to define. Simply, a friend is someone you care about who also cares about you. Technology may have shifted the definition of friend in recent years, but having hundreds of online friends is not the same as having a friend you can connect and be with in person. Technology can facilitate social opportunities by helping you reconnect with old friends, start new relationships with people around the world who share similar interests, and maintain relationships with friends who don't live nearby, but online friends can't hug you when a crisis hits, visit you when you're sick, or celebrate a happy occasion with you after work.

Friends vs. acquaintances or online friends

Sometimes it can be difficult to differentiate between real friends and mere acquaintances::

• An acquaintance is someone you exchange small talk with as you go about your day, trade jokes or insights with online, or chat about sports with in a bar. While most of these relationships will never progress beyond an acquaintance level, with effort, real friendships can blossom from online contacts, people you meet on social media sites, or from neighborhood or work acquaintances.
• A friend is someone who shares a deeper level of interaction or communication with you; he or she is someone you can really connect with, face-to-face. A friend is someone you feel comfortable sharing your feelings with, someone who'll listen to you without judging you or telling you how you should think or feel. As friendship works both ways, a friend is also someone you feel comfortable supporting and accepting, and someone with whom you share a bond of trust and loyalty.

What to look for in a friend

A good friend will show a genuine interest in what's going on in your life, what you have to say, and how you think and feel about things. He or she will accept you for who you are and listen to you attentively without judging you or trying to change the subject. A good friend will act in a trustworthy and loyal way, and he or she will feel comfortable sharing things about themselves with you.

If a person is controlling towards you, overly critical, selfish, abuses your generosity, or brings unwanted danger, drama, or negative influences into your life, it may be the sign of an unhealthy friendship. A good friendship is not dependent on the use of drugs or alcohol, and does not require you to always agree with the other person.

Why friends are important

When we're young children, many of us seem to have little trouble making new friends. Kids tend to bond quickly but as we age friendships grow and develop differently. As adults, we tend to become more guarded with new people and have less time to devote to friendships. Consequently, most of us find it much harder to make new friends. If you've never experienced a close friendship, even as a child, you may find it even harder as an adult. But we all need and want good friends, even those of us who may sometimes pretend otherwise.

The need for friends is instinctual. Our survival once depended on having friends to hunt and find food with, to help us build shelter and keep our families safe, and for companionship. Today, good friends are just as important. They add a special meaning to life. They help you enjoy the good times and overcome the difficult ones. While strong relationships with friends can be a huge source of fun and pleasure, they are also important for your physical and emotional health.

Good friends can:

• Improve your mood. Happiness can be infectious. Spending time with happy and positive friends can elevate your mood and boost your outlook.
• Help you to reach your goals. Whether you're trying to get fit, give up smoking, or otherwise improve your life, encouragement from a friend can really boost your willpower and increase your chances of success.
• Reduce your stress and depression. Having an active social life can bolster your immune system and help reduce isolation, a major contributing factor for depression.
• Support you through tough times. Even if it's just having someone to share your problems with, friends can help you cope with serious illness, the loss of a job or loved one, the breakup of a relationship, or any other challenge in life.
• Support you as you age. As you age, retirement, illness, and the death of loved ones can often leave you isolated. Having people you can turn to for company and support can provide purpose as you age and be a buffer against depression, disability, hardship, and loss. Staying socially engaged as you age keeps you feeling positive and boosts your happiness.

Of course, friendship is a two-way street. Being a good friend to someone brings them all of the above benefits, and boosts your own happiness and sense of self-worth in the process. It also makes you feel needed and adds purpose to your life. While developing and maintaining a friendship takes time and effort, the many benefits of having a close friend make it a valuable investment.

Why you might need to make new friends

Commitments such as work, romantic relationships, and family may cause you to neglect existing friends or not prioritize social engagements. Or friendships may simply fade over time as interests and circumstances in your life change.

Other reasons why you may need to make new friends:

• You've recently moved to a new area.
• You've retired, or changed or lost your job.
• You've recently divorced or finished a long-term relationship.
• You are an older adult and friends have died or moved away, or you've lost mobility and maintaining a social network has become more challenging.
• You're shy or suffer from social anxiety and feel that it's impossible for you to meet new people and develop friendships.
• You've rarely or never experienced close friendships before in your life and are unsure what to look for.

Attachment, bonding, and relationships

How you bonded with a parent or caretaker as an infant will determine how you relate to others as an adult. Those who experienced confusing emotional communications during infancy often grow into adults who have difficulty understanding their own emotions and the feelings of others. This limits your ability to build or maintain successful friendships. Read Attachment and Adult Relationships.

No matter your age or situation, you don't have to be an extravert or the life of the party to make new friends. It's important to realize there are plenty of other people out there who feel just as awkward about meeting new people as you do. And remember: close friendships aren't formed overnight; they take time to build for anyone. By simply being willing to put yourself in a new environment, however, you can meet interesting new people and take the first step to building a friendship.

How to find a friend & build friendships tip 1: Where to meet people

Close relationships don't happen overnight, but there are steps you can take to help you connect with others and find friends. When looking for places to meet new people, try to be open to new ideas and cultivate an interest in other people, their lives, and their stories. Not everything you try will be successful but you will often have fun and learn from the experience.

• Volunteering can be a great way to help others while also meeting new people. Volunteering also gives you the opportunity to regularly practice and develop your social skills.
• Take a class or join a club to meet people with common interests, such as a book group, dinner club, or sports team. Websites such as Meetup.com can help you find local groups or start your own to connect with others who share similar interests.
• Walk a dog. It's good exercise for you, great fun for the animal, and an excellent way to meet people. Dog owners often stop and chat while their dogs sniff or play with each other. If dog ownership isn't right for you, volunteer to walk dogs from a shelter or a local rescue group.
• Invite a neighbor or work colleague for a drink or to a movie. Lots of other people feel just as awkward about reaching out and making new friends as you do. Be the one to break the ice. Your neighbor or colleague will thank you later.
• Track down old friends via social media sites. Make the effort to reconnect and then turn your "online" friends into "real-world" friends by meeting up for coffee instead of chatting on Facebook or Twitter.
• Connect with your alumni association. Many colleges have alumni associations that meet regularly. You already have the college experience in common; talking about old times can be an easy conversation starter. Some associations also sponsor community service events or workshops where you can meet more people.
• Carpool to work. Many companies offer carpool programs. If your employer doesn't, simply ask your colleagues if they would like to share rides. It's a good conversation starter and will help you connect to people who live near you, as well as save on transport costs.
• Attend art gallery openings, book readings, lectures, music recitals, or other community events where you can meet people with similar interests. Check with your library or local paper for events near you.

How to find a friend & build friendships tip 2: Learn to start a conversation

Some people seem to instinctively know how to start a conversation with anyone, in any place, be it a party, bar, health club, the checkout line, a crowded elevator, or on public transport. If you're not one of these lucky types, don't despair.

Here are some easy ways to start a conversation with a stranger:

• Remark on the surroundings or occasion. If you're at a party, for example, you could comment on the venue, the catering, or the music in a positive way. "I love this song," "The food's great. Have you tried the chicken?" or "That's a great view."
• Ask an open-ended question, one that requires more than just a yes or no answer. Adhere to the journalist's credo and ask a question that begins with one of the 5 W's (or 1 H): who, where, when, what, why, or how. For example, "Who do you know here?" "Where do you normally go on a Friday?" "When did you move here?" "What keeps you busy?" "Why did you decide to become a vegetarian?" "How is the wine?" Most people enjoy talking about themselves so asking a question is a good way to get a conversation started.
• Use a compliment. For example, "I really like your purse, can I ask where you got it?" or "You look like you've done this before, can you tell where I have to sign in?"
• Note anything you have in common and ask a follow up question. "I play golf as well, what's your favorite local course?" "My daughter went to that school, too, how does your son like it?"
• Keep the conversation going with small talk. Don't say something that's obviously provocative and avoid heavy subjects such as politics or religion. Stick to light subjects like the weather, surroundings, and anything you have in common such as school, movies, or sports teams.
• Listen effectively. Listening is not the same as waiting for your turn to talk. You can't concentrate on what someone's saying if you're forming what you're going to say next. One of the keys toeffective communication in any situation is to focus fully on the speaker and show interest in what's being said. Nod occasionally, smile at the person, and make sure your posture is open and inviting. Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal cues like "yes" or "uh huh."

If things don't work out

Don't take it personally. The other person may be having a bad day or just not be in the mood to talk.Don't beat yourself up if the conversation stalls or ends sooner than you'd like. Not everyone you approach will be receptive to starting a conversation, let alone becoming friends. Just like dating, meeting new people inevitably comes with some element of rejection.

• Don't dwell on the experience. Even if you said something you regret, for example, it's unlikely that the other person will remember it after a short time. Stay positive; refrain from labeling yourself a failure, or from telling yourself that you'll never be able to make friends. Learn from the experience and try again.

Practice starting a conversation with customer service people

Most people in the service industry are very social and will welcome small talk. Practice your conversation starters on a friendly cashier, receptionist, waiter, hostess, or salesperson.

How to find a friend & build friendships tip 3: Be a good friend

Remember that finding a friend is just the beginning of the journey into friendship. Friendships take time to form and even more time to deepen. In order to move from acquaintance to friend, you need to nurture that new connection. It's a process that requires time, effort, and a genuine interest in the other person.

• Be the friend that you would like to have. Treat your friend just as you want them to treat you. Be reliable, thoughtful, trustworthy, and willing to share yourself and your time.
• Be a good listener. To develop a solid friendship with someone, be prepared to listen and support them just as you want them to listen and support you.
• Invest in the friendship. No friendship will flourish without regular attention. Find things you enjoy doing with your friend and commit the time to do them, even when you're busy or stressed.
• Give your friend space. Don't be too clingy or needy, and be sure not to abuse your friend's generosity. Everyone needs his or her space to be alone or spend time with other people as well.
• Don't set too many rules and expectations. Instead, allow your friendship to evolve naturally. You're both unique individuals so your friendship probably won't develop exactly as you expect.
• Be forgiving. No one is perfect and every friend will make mistakes. No friendship develops smoothly so when there's a bump in the road, try to find a way to overcome the problem and move on. It will often deepen the bond of friendship between you.

Related Articles

Effective Communication – While communication may seem simple, there are skills you can learn to avoid misunderstandings and improve your relationship with family, friends, or coworkers.

Nonverbal Communication Skills – As the majority of the messages we send are nonverbal, it’s important to understand and use body language in a way that builds better relationships at home, work, and with friends.

Volunteering and its Surprising Benefits – Volunteering isn't just good for the community. It's also a great way to connect with others and improve your mental and physical health

Attachment and Adult Relationships – By learning about the attachment bond and how it affects you as an adult, you can build healthier relationships.

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) – The ability to remain aware of what you feel, to express your feelings appropriately, and to be aware of what others are feeling is a defining factor in the success of relationships.                                                                 http://www.freegiftsforyou.in/

Nonverbal Communication

Nonverbal Communication

Improving Your Nonverbal Skills and Reading Body Language

It's well known that good communication is the foundation of any successful relationship, be it personal or professional. It's important to recognize, though, that it's our nonverbal communication—our facial expressions, gestures, eye contact, posture, and tone of voice—that speak the loudest. The ability to understand and use nonverbal communication, or body language, is a powerful tool that can help you connect with others, express what you really mean, and build better relationships.

What is nonverbal communication and body language?

When we interact with others, we continuously give and receive wordless signals. All of our nonverbal behaviors—the gestures we make, the way we sit, how fast or how loud we talk, how close we stand, how much eye contact we make—send strong messages. These messages don't stop when you stop speaking either. Even when you're silent, you're still communicating nonverbally.

Oftentimes, what comes out of our mouths and what we communicate through our body language are two totally different things. When faced with these mixed signals, the listener has to choose whether to believe your verbal or nonverbal message, and, in most cases, they're going to choose the nonverbal because it's a natural, unconscious language that broadcasts our true feelings and intentions in any given moment.

Why nonverbal communication matters

The way you listen, look, move, and react tells the other person whether or not you care, if you’re being truthful, and how well you’re listening. When your nonverbal signals match up with the words you’re saying, they increase trust, clarity, and rapport. When they don’t, they generate tension, mistrust, and confusion.

If you want to become a better communicator, it’s important to become more sensitive not only to the body language and nonverbal cues of others, but also to your own.

Nonverbal communication cues can play five roles:

• Repetition: they can repeat the message the person is making verbally.
• Contradiction: they can contradict a message the individual is trying to convey.
• Substitution: they can substitute for a verbal message. For example, a person's eyes can often convey a far more vivid message than words do.
• Complementing: they may add to or complement a verbal message. A boss who pats a person on the back in addition to giving praise can increase the impact of the message.
• Accenting: they may accent or underline a verbal message. Pounding the table, for example, can underline a message.

Source: The Importance of Effective Communication, Edward G. Wertheim, Ph.D.

Types of nonverbal communication and body language

There are many different types of nonverbal communication. Together, the following nonverbal signals and cues communicate your interest and investment in others.

Facial expressions

The human face is extremely expressive, able to express countless emotions without saying a word. And unlike some forms of nonverbal communication, facial expressions are universal. The facial expressions for happiness, sadness, anger, surprise, fear, and disgust are the same across cultures.

Body movements and posture

Consider how your perceptions of people are affected by the way they sit, walk, stand up, or hold their head. The way you move and carry yourself communicates a wealth of information to the world. This type of nonverbal communication includes your posture, bearing, stance, and subtle movements.

Gestures

Gestures are woven into the fabric of our daily lives. We wave, point, beckon, and use our hands when we’re arguing or speaking animatedly—expressing ourselves with gestures often without thinking. However, the meaning of gestures can be very different across cultures and regions, so it’s important to be careful to avoid misinterpretation.

Eye contact

Since the visual sense is dominant for most people, eye contact is an especially important type of nonverbal communication. The way you look at someone can communicate many things, including interest, affection, hostility, or attraction. Eye contact is also important in maintaining the flow of conversation and for gauging the other person’s response.

Touch

We communicate a great deal through touch. Think about the messages given by the following: a weak handshake, a timid tap on the shoulder, a warm bear hug, a reassuring slap on the back, a patronizing pat on the head, or a controlling grip on your arm.

Space

Have you ever felt uncomfortable during a conversation because the other person was standing too close and invading your space? We all have a need for physical space, although that need differs depending on the culture, the situation, and the closeness of the relationship. You can use physical space to communicate many different nonverbal messages, including signals of intimacy and affection, aggression or dominance.

Voice

It’s not just what you say, it’s how you say it. When we speak, other people “read” our voices in addition to listening to our words. Things they pay attention to include your timing and pace, how loud you speak, your tone and inflection, and sounds that convey understanding, such as “ahh” and “uh-huh.” Think about how someone's tone of voice, for example, can indicate sarcasm, anger, affection, or confidence.

Nonverbal communication can’t be faked

You may be familiar with advice on how to sit a certain way, steeple your fingers, or shake hands just so in order to appear confident or assert dominance. But the truth is that such tricks aren’t likely to work (unless you truly feel confident and in charge). That’s because you can’t control all of the signals you’re constantly sending off about what you’re really thinking and feeling. And the harder you try, the more unnatural your signals are likely to come across.

How nonverbal communication can go wrong

What you communicate through your body language and nonverbal signals affects how others see you, how well they like and respect you, and whether or not they trust you.

Unfortunately, many people send confusing or negative nonverbal signals without even knowing it. When this happens, both connection and trust are damaged.

Nonverbal communication and body language in relationships

Ted, Arlene, and Jack are all articulate speakers who say one thing while communicating something else nonverbally, with disastrous results in their relationships:

Jack

believes he gets along great with his colleagues at work, but if you were to ask any of them, they would say that Jack is "intimidating" and "very intense." Rather than just look at you, he seems to devour you with his eyes. And if he takes your hand, he lunges to get it and then squeezes so hard it hurts. Jack is a caring guy who secretly wishes he had more friends, but his nonverbal awkwardness keeps people at a distance and limits his ability to advance at work.

Arlene

is attractive and has no problem meeting eligible men, but she has a difficult time maintaining a relationship longer than a few months. Arlene is funny and interesting, but even though she constantly laughs and smiles, she radiates tension. Her shoulders and eyebrows are noticeably raised, her voice is shrill, and her body is stiff. Being around Arlene makes many people feel uncomfortable. Arlene has a lot going for her that is undercut by the discomfort she evokes in others.

Ted

thought he had found the perfect match when he met Sharon, but Sharon wasn't so sure. Ted is good looking, hardworking, and a smooth talker, but Ted seemed to care more about his thoughts than Sharon's. When Sharon had something to say, Ted was always ready with wild eyes and a rebuttal before she could finish her thought. This made Sharon feel ignored, and soon she started dating other men. Ted loses out at work for the same reason. His inability to listen to others makes him unpopular with many of the people he most admires.

These smart, well-intentioned people struggle in their attempt to connect with others. The sad thing is that they are unaware of the nonverbal messages they communicate.

If you want to communicate effectively, avoid misunderstandings, and enjoy solid, trusting relationships both socially and professionally, it’s important to understand how to use and interpret nonverbal signals.

Setting the stage for effective nonverbal communication

To improve nonverbal communication, learn to manage stressNonverbal communication is a rapidly flowing back-and-forth processrequiring your full concentration and attention. If you are planning what you’re going to say next, daydreaming, or thinking about something else, you are almost certain to miss nonverbal cues and other subtleties in the conversation. You need to stay focused on the moment-to-moment experience in order to fully understand what’s going on.

Learning how to manage stress in the heat of the moment is one of the most important things you can do to improve your nonverbal communication. Stress compromises your ability to communicate. When you’re stressed out, you’re more likely to misread other people, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of behavior. Furthermore, emotions are contagious. You being upset is very likely to trigger others to be upset, making a bad situation worse.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by stress, it’s best to take a time out. Take a moment to calm down before you jump back into the conversation. Once you’ve regained your emotional equilibrium, you’ll be better equipped to deal with the situation in a positive way.

How emotional awareness strengthens nonverbal communication

In order to send accurate nonverbal cues, you need to be aware of your emotions and how they influence you. You also need to be able to recognize the emotions of others and the true feelings behind the cues they are sending. This is where emotional awareness comes in.

Emotional awareness enables you to:

• Accurately read other people, including the emotions they’re feeling and the unspoken messages they’re sending.
• Create trust in relationships by sending nonverbal signals that match up with your words.
• Respond in ways that show others that you understand, notice, and care.
• Know if the relationship is meeting your emotional needs, giving you the option to either repair the relationship or move on.

Tips for reading body language and nonverbal communication

Once you’ve developed your abilities to manage stress and recognize emotions, you’ll naturally become better at reading the nonverbal signals sent by others.

• Pay attention to inconsistencies. Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is being said. Is the person is saying one thing, and their body language something else? For example, are they telling you “yes” while shaking their head no?
• Look at nonverbal communication signals as a group. Don’t read too much into a single gesture or nonverbal cue. Consider all of the nonverbal signals you are receiving, from eye contact to tone of voice and body language. Taken together, are their nonverbal cues consistent—or inconsistent—with what their words are saying?
• Trust your instincts. Don’t dismiss your gut feelings. If you get the sense that someone isn’t being honest or that something isn’t adding up, you may be picking up on a mismatch between verbal and nonverbal cues.

Evaluating nonverbal signals
Eye contact	Is eye contact being made? If so, is it overly intense or just right?
Facial expression	What is their face showing? Is it masklike and unexpressive, or emotionally present and filled with interest?
Tone of voice	Does their voice project warmth, confidence, and interest, or is it strained and blocked?
Posture and gesture	Are their bodies relaxed or stiff and immobile? Are shoulders tense and raised, or slightly sloped?
Touch	Is there any physical contact? Is it appropriate to the situation? Does it make you feel uncomfortable?
Intensity	Do they seem flat, cool, and disinterested, or over-the-top and melodramatic?
Timing and pace	Is there an easy flow of information back and forth? Do nonverbal responses come too quickly or too slowly?
Sounds	Do you hear sounds that indicate caring or concern?

As you continue to pay attention to the nonverbal cues and signals you send and receive, your ability to communicate will improve.

Related Articles

Effective Communication – While communication may seem simple, there are skills you can learn to avoid misunderstandings and improve your relationship with your spouse, family, or coworkers.

Relationship Help – By understanding the principles of a healthy romantic relationship, you can help make your relationship more fulfilling, exciting, and meaningful.

Conflict Resolution Skills – When handled positively, conflict can provide an opportunity to strengthen the bond between two people.

Successful Relationships – How humor, laughter and play can be powerful tools in building successful relationships.

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