When you meet someone you have a karmic connection with, a spark of recognition ignites in your soul. You’ll feel a haunting familiarity, a sense of having come home, a longing for something not quite remembered.
You might recognise their face, name or the sound of their voice, or you may intuitively know you have met before. If this person is a potential lover, these feelings are magnified, giving the whole relationship a compulsive, alluring intensity. You’ll feel a connection that goes way beyond what you actually say and do together. Something profound appears to be bubbling away under the surface.
Familiar old patterns
Unfortunately, just because something is familiar, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s good for you. You might feel comfortable in situations that are actually very limiting, just because that’s what you’re used to. If you have low self-esteem you may feel more ‘at home’ with people who perpetuate that myth around you because that’s how you’re used to seeing yourself. Unconsciously this might feel much safer to you than the terrifying unknown beyond your own self-imposed walls.
If you have karma to resolve in a close relationship you may be sucked into a whirlpool of repetitive past patterns and behaviour that appears to have very little to do with your conscious wishes and actions. But because you know the pattern, you’re compelled to repeat it.
Making new patterns takes much more effort – and brings unsettling change. It could mean you have to look at yourself in a new light, which can feel daunting. What if you are not who you thought you are? Friends and family may feel threatened by you changing, and oppose it because it brings to light things they need to break free from in their own lives.
Love versus karma
Discovering whether you’re caught in a karmic emotional rollercoaster is actually quite easy to do. Real love should be a peaceful, beautiful experience filled with mutual respect, joy and space to grow. If you’re hynotised by someone who controls, mistreats or lies to you, but whom you still refuse to believe would deliberately hurt you – you’re in a karmic relationship. You might have incredible sex, and feel like they know you better than you know yourself. But you also have terrible cathartic fights and say unforgivable things to each other. You feel like you experience life more intensely through them, for better or worse.
The karmic recognition falsely tricks you into feeling that your destiny is tied up with this person. It feels fated. And, yes, it is, as you have possibly encountered each other hundreds of times before in various guises. And the reason he or she keeps coming back is that you could not find a way to resolve your past issues. So why should this time be any different? Because this time you have the potential to understand that your karmic relationship is teaching you a lesson that could transform your life for the better!
Acceptance and realisation
One of the first things to accept if you’re in a karmic relationship is that you are actually in one. You’re not a fool to have mistaken the intense feelings you’re experiencing as love, or felt that you are bound together in an inevitable dance with someone who is controlling you like a puppet.
Karma has to be compelling and addictive, otherwise you wouldn’t learn anything from it. Its only purpose is to teach, so you can become more whole.
Your friends and family will have already pointed out that they don’t understand why you put up with your karmically-challenged person’s attitude or behaviour. And perhaps, intellectually, you know they’re right. But in your heart you’re probably still a slave to the beast.
The great news is that as soon as you start to consciously acknowledge the truth of your fated relationship, the mask will slowly slip, and you will see them for who they truly are. You’ll soon come to realise what the people who really do care for you see so plainly – that it’s not really love.
Your own path
This is one lesson you have to learn on your own. Everyone goes through it at some time, and your path is unique, created by your own personal karmic debts.
Although it can be a lonely place to be, the miracles that will happen when you take charge of your own destiny will amaze you.
Tackling your personal fears and negative patterns has the potential to completely re-wire your spiritual life path. It is also important to recognise the other person in the relationship as a powerful force in your life. They are teaching you a valuable lesson, one that could free you from an endless loop of negative behaviour.
Next time around
To break the pattern, one of you needs to evolve. But if that seems impossible at the moment, don’t be too hard on yourself. Though staying in an abusive relationship of any sort will erode your self-esteem, and drain your energy to deal with it at all. Speak out and get help if you can.
Karma can be painful – but as you learn more about your life, through both your wonderful and painful experiences, you will grow wiser and more whole, and the pain will ease.
Just being aware of the karmic nature of the partnership will lessen its power over you. And if things don’t get resolved, you can choose to put it back on the spiritual shelf for now. Of course this means you’ll have to go through it all again… but in another life, perhaps by then you’ll have accumulated enough good karma and positive energy to slay your demons once and for all!
If you are feeling brave enough to take charge of your karmic debts in this life, you’re in for a soul-changing experience. Because once you assert yourself, or take charge of the situation in a conscious way, you’ll feel the burden slowly lift. Communicating your needs and wishes, not tolerating unkindness, sticking up for your opinions and beliefs, and most importantly, forgiving yourself, will melt those binding karmic ties into oblivion.
Once you have learned your lesson you will know in your heart that you will never have to deal with that particular piece of karma again. The person who had you spellbound will begin to look like an ordinary human being, and you’ll become master of your own destiny.