“When someone has a strong intuitive connection, Buddhism suggests that it’s because of karma, some past connection.”
~ Richard Gere
Karmic relationships are a big part of our growth. We can experience a karmic relationship with lovers, siblings, children, parents or friends, even work colleagues.
Contrary to popular opinion, not all karmic relationships are soul mate relationships. Rather, karmic relationships happen because before we came to this life we have made a conscious choice to come together with another soul so that we can share, support, learn, heal, resolve past life issues, forgive and grow.
There are several defining characteristics of karmic relationships, but the most obvious ones are:
instant recognition of each other on some level, especially when there is no way you have ever met before
strong, and often unexplainable attraction (the sort we can’t justify to ourselves, let alone family or friends)
an intensity to the relationship, either positive or negative
a tendency for the relationship to become for a time, the most dominant or perhaps even our ONLY relationship
a deep emotional or physical connection, often that has an addictive quality
an ability to really press each other’s buttons
an inability to easily walk away
a feeling of the need to stay, even if it is hard, so that you can work through or resolve something
Usually karmic relationships serve to bring you together for a definite purpose, and once that purpose is achieved, the ‘spell’ is broken and the relationship loses its pull. Looking back you might wonder what ever brought you together – even you won’t understand it!
Many of my clients have experienced intense friendships or love relationships that taught them hard lessons, that changed them in some way, and that caused them to move in a new direction. Often these relationships were painful, uncomfortable and a wild ride. None of their friends or family understood why they were in that relationship, and it often made little sense to my clients either, but they couldn’t seem to help it or avoid the pull of the other person.
A large number of them then went on to find a lifelong partner, or a satisfying new life direction…
Not all relationships are difficult – some are wonderful, but last only a short time. They buoy us up and remind us of something positive and important about ourselves, building a stronger sense of self and purpose.
Some karmic relationships will support you for your entire life, and if one person dies before the other the one who remains will not find someone to replace that love, and that feeling of deep connection will endure even if that person takes a new partner. Note – this relationship may not be with a lover, but could also be with a friend or family member.
These enduring karmic relationships are characterised by:
the feeling that you understand in each in ways other people can’t
a feeling of loyalty and a deep bond
a sense of being very comfortable with the other person, as if you’ve known them forever, even if you’ve just met
a knowledge that you are sharing a path through life
a feeling of deep trust, and a knowledge that you are supported by this person
an easiness with one another, even if you do have issues to work through
an ability to truly forgive, and to move on, together
We are all connected, often in ways we can’t possibly understand from where we are, down here. I find it incredibly reassuring, to know that love transcends time and space, and that we care enough about each other as souls to show up in each others lives over and over again.